Accepting help graciously
When your child is diagnosed with a chronic illness, there are hundreds of things
to do. Some of them you must do yourself; others can be done by caring relative
and friends. In the beginning, you may try to do everything yourself, feeling that
it is what you should do or not wanting to bother others.
However, you must remember to take care of yourself so you will be able to continue
to take care of your family. When others ask how they can help, they are offering
a valuable service. Allowing them to support you and your family will strengthen
bonds and solidify your circle of support. If you do not accept offers to help,
they will eventually quit coming. And, it is almost unkind to not let those who
care about you the opportunity to support you and your family.
Of course, have others help in a way that decreases your stress and will allow you
some time to relax. It may be helpful to keep a list of things that need to be done,
allowing those who offer help to choose from the list. The list might include such
things as picking up dry cleaning, grocery shopping, vacuuming the house, doing
laundry, picking up stamps, watching other children, watering outdoor plants or
mowing the lawn.
Not only will you feel better knowing your chores have been reduced, but your family
member or friend will feel better knowing they are helping you!
Skills List
- Learn about your child’s illness and treatment
- Commmunicate openly with your children
- Help your child learn to cope with life changes
- Help your other children, spouse and extended family cope
- Prepare your child for procedures and hospitalization
- Maintain as much normalcy as possible
- Set limits, and provide discipline
- Continue normal expectations for your child
- Communicate with your child’s school
- Help your child explain the illness to others
- Accept help graciously
- Empower your child
- Help your child find a buddy with the same illness
- Handle (unsolicited) advice
- Take care of yourself
For more information, please contact:
Kathy Davis, MSEd, PhD
kdavis2@kumc.edu
(913) 588-6305