Maintain as much normalcy as possible in the life your family

Maintain as much normalcy as possible in the life your family. That sounds easy, but many parents say that it is one of the greatest challenges they face. A good rule of thumb is to treat your child with a chronic illness, as much as possible, like any other child. Of course, you will also need to consider your child’s special needs, and incorporate those into the routine to the greatest degree possible.

A good place to start is to try to refer to your child first, and her illness second. In other words, a child is a daughter with diabetes, rather than a diabetic daughter or a child with a chronic illness instead of a chronically ill child. This will help focus on the child first, and the illness second.

An activity that you and your child may do together (or the whole family can participate) is to make a list entitled “Who I Am”, listing attributes, hobbies, and characteristics of each person. Kids usually make a long list before they include the diagnosis. They may include such things as golfer, mathematician, baby sitter, big brother, son, good friend, dog owner, person with cancer, etc. Sometimes, it is difficult for young people to stay involved in activities and maintain normalcy in their lives.

It is very important for parents to encourage participation in various activities that involve other children of the same age. Scouting, church groups, or casual friendships should be maintained as much as possible. Maintaining normal routines, as much as possible, also aids in keeping the family in balance. For example, mealtimes, bedgimes, family routines and rituals will shift the focus from the illness to the family.

Children typically do best when their daily routines are predictable and consistent. Of course, this is not always possible, but an effort should be made to maintain regular routines and schedules for all family members. The goal is to experience life fully, despite the diagnosis. This is a huge job for you and for your family, but it is one worth doing well. The result will be a child who continues to have emotional, psychological, academic and social health as she works toward returning physical health.

 

Skills List

1. Learn about your child’s illness and treatment
2. Commmunicate openly with your children
3. Help your child learn to cope with life changes
4. Help your other children, spouse and extended family cope
5. Prepare your child for procedures and hospitalization
6. Maintain as much normalcy as possible
7. Set limits, and provide discipline
8. Continue normal expectations for your child
9. Communicate with your child’s school
10. Help your child explain the illness to others
11. Accept help graciously
12. Empower your child
13. Help your child find a buddy with the same illness
14. Handle (unsolicited) advice 
15. Take care of yourself

 

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For more information, please contact:

Kathy Davis, MSEd, PhD
kdavis2@kumc.edu
(913) 588-6305