When Your Friend is Sick
You may have a friend who has had a chronic illness for a long time, or maybe your friend just found out that he or she has a chronic illness. Either way, you are an important person in the life of your friend. You may have a lot of questions about the chronic illness, and what you can do to help.
What is my friend's illness?
A chronic illnesses is one that last for months, years, or sometimes for the person's entire life. For example, cancer may last for months or years and then, sometimes, be gone. Others, like diabetes, last for the person's entire life. Some kids are bothered by asthma when they are exposed to certain things in the air or hte environment or when they get a cold or flu. At other times, they may not have symptoms of asthma. Depression may last for weeks or months or may come back off and on during a person's life.
One thing we know is that every person's situation is different. It's important that we learn all we can about our friend's illness and how we can help.
Learning about chronic illness
We are glad you are taking time to learn more about your friend's illnesses. It is important that you learn the facts. That way,
- you can understand things for yourself,
- you can make sure that other kids understand, and
- you can help your friend who is sick.
We will provide general information here, but your friend is a unique person, and
you need to get information about him or her. There are a lot of people who can help you find the information you need.
You can ask
- your parents,
- your teachers,
- your friend,
- your friend's parents, or
- other trusted adults.
Ask questions
Ask questions if you do not understand something about the illness or if you are
afraid. Here are some questions that kids have asked us.
Can I catch what my friend has?
Some kids tell us that they are afraid that they will catch the illness if they get too close to their friend who is sick. This is a very normal feeling.
We often tell kids to avoid touching someone who is sick, "Wash your hands," and
"Don't touch that."
However, the illness your friend has is not
something you can "catch" like
a cold. It is kind of like being around someone with a broken leg - you can
be around them all day — but your leg will be just fine.
If I have a cold, can I make my friend sick?
Some kids with a chronic illness may have a hard time fighting off germs and infections. For example, many kids with cancer may be more likely to catch colds, sore throat and other infections from us. This is because the very strong medicines that destroy
the bad cancer cells also hurts the good cells in the body (the white blood cells) that
fight infection.
So, to help our friends, and everyone else in our class, we should stay home when we have a fever, a bad cough, or if we are throwing up.
We should also always wash our hands very well. Germs like to live on our hands.
So wash your hands before you eat, after playing, after using the bathroom, or whenever
you touch places where germs like to live.
Where do germs like to live?
-
Grocery store carts
- Door knobs
- Telephones
- Noses
- Trash
- Computer keyboards
(Uh-oh, I better go wash my hands after I type this)
How do I help my friend feel better?
Phone calls, cards, and visits are great ways to keep your friend happy!
If you want to invite your friend over to your house, you may be afraid that
they cannot come and that inviting them will just make them sad. However,
kids with chronic illnesses often can do most of the things they did before
they got sick, and even if they cannot, they will be happy that you invited
them. Don't be afraid to ask them to do things with you!
- Be a friend.
- Call or e-mail your friend when he is in the hospital. Cards and
letters are really fun to get when you are stuck in the hospital, too.
- Invite your friend to play. If he/she can't come over, that's fine. But if you don't ask, you both may miss out on a really
good time!
- Tell your friend about what is going on at school, scouts, soccer, etc.
You can help him better understand the homework assignment and fill him in
on all the interesting parts of the day
(like who got sent to the office, what nasty thing was served in
the cafeteria, funny things that happened in the classroom).
- Tell others in school
that your friend needs everyone’s support.
- Talk to your friend. Find out if he wants help or if he wants
to talk about his feelings. Only your friend knows what he needs, and the best way for you to help him is to ask questions.
- If you are worried about your friend or have questions, talk to your
parents, teacher or other trusted adult.
- Enjoy your friend!
For more information, please contact:
Kathy Davis, MSEd, PhD
kdavis2@kumc.edu
(913) 588-6305