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For Peers and Classmates

When Your Friend is Sick

You may have a friend who has had a chronic illness for a long time, or maybe your friend just found out that she has a chronic illness. Either way, you are an important person in the life of your friend, and you may have a lot of questions about the chronic illness, what it means to your friend, and how you can help.

There are many different kinds of chronic illnesses, and lots of ways that kids can be affected by this kind of illness. Chronic illnesses are those that last for months, years, or sometimes for the person’s entire life. Cancer is a chronic illness that may last for months or years and then, sometimes, be gone. Diabetes and sickle cell anemia are chronic illnesses that last for the person’s entire life.

Girl in hospital.It is important that you understand the facts about your friend’s illness. That way, you can understand what your friend needs, you can make sure that other kids understand, and you can help your friend. On this site, you will find information about many chronic illnesses, and links to visit to learn more. It is always a great idea to talk to your parents, your teachers, your friend who is ill, his or her parents, or other trusted adults if you do not understand something about the illness, or if you have questions.

Some kids tell us that they are afraid that they will catch the illness if they get too close to their friend who is sick. This is a very normal feeling, because we know some illnesses are contagious, or the kind you can catch. Most chronic illnesses, or the kind your friend has, are not contagious. Being around someone with sickle cell anemia, cystic fibrosis, cancer, diabetes, asthma, or most other chronic illnesses is not dangerous. It is kind of like being around someone with a broken leg – you can spend all day with him or her, but your leg will be just fine.

However, some chronic illnesses might put your friend at risk to catch something from you. Kids with cancer, for example, may be more likely to catch colds, flu, strep throat and other infections from us. This is because the very strong medicines that they take to fight the cancer makes it easy for them to catch infections. So, to help them (and everyone else in our class) we should stay home when we have a fever, a bad cough, or if we are throwing up. We should also wash our hands very well whenever they might be dirty. Lots of germs live on our hands and we can spread our germs if we do not wash our hands well.

It is hard to be a kid with a chronic illness, and you may worry about your friend’s happiness. You may want to find ways that you can help your friend feel happier and to have fun. That is one of the most important ways you can help your friend! Phone calls, cards, and visits are great ways to keep your friend happy! If you want to invite your friend over to your house, you might be afraid that they cannot come and that inviting them will just make them sad. However, kids with chronic illnesses often can do most of the things they did before they got sick, and even if they cannot, they will be happy that you invited them. Don’t be afraid to ask your friend to do things with you!

See tips for young children with a sick friend or tips for teenagers with a sick friend.


For more information, please contact:

Kathy Davis, MSEd, PhD
kdavis2@kumc.edu
(913) 588-6305