How Can I Help?
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Hillary Rodham Clinton’s words are especially
true if that child has a chronic illness. It has often been said that a chronic
illness in a child is a diagnosis that affects the entire family. In many cases,
it affects the entire community. Most people recognize that a child with a serious
illness and her family have many needs, and that the support and efforts of the
community can make the journey much smoother.
It is common for scout groups, 4-H
clubs, churches, synagogues, sports teams, schools, neighborhood groups and
others to inquire about how they can help a child with a chronic illness and her
family. There are some suggestions listed below, but the best bet is to check with
the family themselves to identify the areas of greatest need. If you come up with
an idea that works really well, please share it with us
and we will post it on the site.
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Cards, letters and small mementos are always appreciated by children
in the hospital. While you are at it, why not include a card for the child’s parents
or individual greetings for the siblings? Everyone likes to know they are thought
of and remembered during difficult times.
- A box full of small trinkets to open daily is a sure-fire favorite
for kids who are sick. A pencil with a funny topper, an eraser, a new box of crayons,
a silly picture cut from a magazine – these are bound to please a youngster who
is anxious to return to all the things that he or she misses at home.
- A manicure, pedicure or make-over for a teenager is a great morale
booster! Kids who have to be in the hospital for an extended period of time, or
who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy love the chance to feel pampered. This
is a great idea for parents of chronically ill kids, too.
-
Magazines, a deck of cards, board games or art/craft activities
help make the time pass more quickly in the hospital.
- Books on tape or favorite music tapes/CDs offer entertainment
and relaxation with a minimum of effort. Be sure the child has access to a tape/CD
player.
- A basket of snacks and fresh fruit is greatly appreciated by
parents who are restricted by the offerings of hospital cafeterias. Juice boxes,
sodas and bottled
water are other good choices.
- Meals for the family members at home are a big help when a child
is hospitalized or very sick at home. Grocery shopping and meal preparation are
hard to schedule with the increased demands of caring for an ill child. Be sure
to call ahead to determine if there are specific food allergies, likes or dislikes.
- How about assembling a cleaning crew to do household chores or yard work?This
would be a great project for a scout troop and a huge boost to the family!
-
While you are at it with the cleaning, laundry service may be
another greatly appreciated task.
- Carpool or transportation services for siblings enable parents
to be at the hospital without feeling that they are neglecting the other children.
Offer to bring the siblings to the hospital and take them back home, as well.
- Babysitting for the siblings of the sick child is one of the
things that parents tell us is a wonderful gift. A special dinner, movie, bowling
or other outing often helps the sibling feel important or cared about in a special
way. Babysitting for all the children, including the child with the chronic illness,
while Mom and Dad have a date is another idea.
-
Homework assistance for siblings is a great way to help a family
with a chronically ill child. Parents may need to be at the hospital and so are unable
to assist their other children with homework, or they may be too exhausted to tackle
math late in the evening.
- Community members often ask about fund-raisers for the family.
Check with the family before launching any type of fund-raising activity. There
are ways to do this correctly, and ways that result in complications with insurance.
The parents can check with the social worker at the hospital to determine if there
are special restrictions regarding fund-raising.
- Needs continue for a long time.
Frequently, communities rally around a family when a child is first diagnosed or
injured. The child in a motor vehicle accident who acquires a significant brain
injury or the family whose daughter is diagnosed with leukemia will have needs for
many years, not just a few months after the diagnosis. It is challenging to continue
supporting a family for months or years, but that support is needed just as much
– sometimes more – as time goes by.
More than anything else, knowing that you care
and want to help is greatly appreciated by the families of children with chronic
illnesses.
For more information, please contact:
Kathy Davis, MSEd, PhD
kdavis2@kumc.edu
(913) 588-6305